Home, Work Life Balance

As a working Mum I find the balance of work and home life quite hard at times and there is generally either a sense of quilt for not spending time with the children, or a sense of stress because the house is a mess. Now firstly let me explain a little bit about myself so that this makes a bit more sense. I am what I like to call, slightly OCD and this is a part of myself that I both enjoy and hate at the same time, because being slightly OCD makes me a perfectionist. I like to have things where they belong and I get very stressed if the house is even remotely untidy.

Now in the grand scheme of things, I know that things like this really shouldn’t matter, but I struggle sometimes with letting go of control, and this leads to me getting stressed over silly things like the washing not having been put away, or the dishwater needing emptying. Again, silly things really and they never take very long to sort out, but sometimes I let this cloud my thoughts but I am trying to learn not to do this so much.

I have recently changed my hours at work so that I work only four days per week but for longer hours on the days that I do work and I am really hoping that this will help for me to find a better balance and enable me to get more things done at home. What I am also mindful of, is trying to spend more time with our children. Although our boys are getting older now (16, 11, 8) and they don’t really need us as much, which is great for their independence, but sad because it means they have their own little lives that don’t require so much of our help.

I really want to spend more quality time with them at the weekends when I am not working, because although they have never said anything about it, I do feel guilty for working so much and then being too tired when I am home to do anything with them. I have also been working lots of extra hours recently to raise funds for Christmas. This has been totally by choice, but is has meant that for the past month I have been working every weekend, but I guess it will all be worth it in the end.

It’s just so hard to not have guilt or worries about if you have the balance right, and I guess as the children grow older, things will change and the balance will swing again, I just hope that over the next few months, I can see that my new working hours have made a difference. I guess the point I’m trying to make, is that being a working Mum or Dad is not always easy, and that sometimes things have to change to suit your life better. I know that I am very lucky to be able to change my hours and working days to suit my family more and that this would not be an option for everyone, but it was something important for me to do.

I must also say that I am extremely lucky to have a very supportive and helpful partner. We are pretty much equal in the house cleaning department and we kind of have our own little jobs to do around the house, but luckily he also does the majority of the cooking. I actually love cooking, and now that I have come to the end of all my extra shifts, I will be taking over some of the cooking again during the week. I think it is hard sometimes to not take each other for granted when it comes to the housework or earning money. I really appreciate that he has done so much more at home while I have been doing the extra shifts, even though I may not have told him to his face. He’s also always been such a fantastic Dad to the boys and they have an amazing bond. I think this also helps to ease the guilt slightly because they always have one of us with them.

I have been so busy lately that I did not even have time to take some pictures for this post, so I will add an old picture of our boys so that when I read this post back, I can remember what all this is for in the first place.

See you next week.

Carly xxxfullsizeoutput_9b4

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My Love for Autumn

I am beyond happy that Autumn is finally here, and for 5 main reasons.

1 – Cosy Fires. Last year we put in a wood burner and since not using it all over the summer, I am so excited that it is now the season for cosy fires again. It has saved us money on the central heating and it just brings joy to our household, including the dogs who will take it turns to lay in front of the fire.

2 – Autumn Homeware.  Now for me, the house is where I feel a real sense of home, and I know that may sound weird because, well it is my home, but I love to make our house homely. As I am much more of a winter person, I absolutely love to decorate the house at Christmas, and I feel that Autumn is kind of the start of that. We have Autumnal bedding with brushed cotton sheets to make it all the more cosy to get into bed. Plus the house gets a little sprinkling of Autumn decorations before the Christmas season starts.

3 – Candle Crazyness.  Now my other half is a fire fighter and hates candles around the house, but I just love the vibe they create in a room. I have them in our lounge and dining room but I will only light the ones in the room I am actually in at that time, just incase. I have lots of tealights in some really cute candle holders etc, but I also am really enjoying The White Company Autumn candle at the moment, because it smells divine. The secret to candles, is to mix the boring non-scented tea lights with a delicious smelling candle to create a beautiful ambiance.

4 – Leaves.  The leaves on the trees at this time of year are just absolutely gorgeous when they change from green to reds and oranges. We have an acer plant out the from of our house which did not turn red last year, it just went brown and then dropped its leaves. This year is has turned a fiery red and it looks magical. I am planning a day out soon to Sheffield Park in East Sussex, as I have heard it is amazing there at this time of year.

5 – Christmas is Coming. Yep, Christmas is just around the corner and I always start my Christmas shopping when the kids go back to school. Having 3 boys, two of which were born in December, makes December a very expensive month, so we have to start early. But to be fair I really enjoy it because I honestly think about Christmas all year round as it is by far my favourite time of year. So making for Christmas in Autumn is one of my favourite things.

I hope for you Autumn is also a happy time of year, and I will see you next week for another post.

Carly xxx